PhD Count up.

Hey SLS's (Sisterlocked Sistahs) and friends,

I'm just getting back from the lab and I had a great idea. I'm gonna use my blog to count down the days until I defend. But instead of counting down I'm going to count up because I won't know the actual day of my thesis defense until my thesis committee gives me permission to write my thesis.

Since yesterday (this morning) was the day I declared that this is my final year, today, September 13, 2006 is day one. Each time I'm going to write what I've accomplished (in somewhat lay persons terms) and what I need to do. I usually do this each week but it would be nice to see a diary of my goals.

So far this week I've been trying to use an assay (a kind of test) that was developed in another lab. First I'm working to reproduce the data that they published in their paper. Doing this tells me that I'm performing the assay correctly. In parallel, I'm applying the assay to different strains of yeast to expand my efforts beyond repeating someone else's work. I've been doing this for about two weeks now and no dice. So tomorrow, I'm going to tweak it a little and see if I can get the results I'm looking for.

I'm also doing a lot of cloning (using bacteria to copy pieces of DNA) and I think its coming along. . .but I have more cloning of additional DNA fragments on my checklist so this is only the beginning.

Tomorrow I'm making chromatin. . .ugh! Its a tough job but someone has to do it.

I'm reading this back and thinking, "Will everyone want to know all the details? I don't want it to be a boring blog!!" I guess I'll tweak my "count up" as I go. In honor of the first day I'll add some lab pics. The first is with my PhD advisor Steve. He's the boss but he has also helped me so much in the past year. A year ago in July, my first advisor didn't have enough funding to keep me on and I had to switch labs and start over. Although that it bad this event was actually a blessing from God. I'm a living of example of the phrase "God makes a way out of no way" and I just have to give God praise for helping me through this journey. I'm now in a well funded lab working with a great group of people and I receive real mentorship from Steve. Let's just say I didn't have those things in my first lab. Next photo is me and a "Western blot sandwich"--that I didn't eat but it was a fun play on words. Last photo: Me and my media. I use these flasks to grow up a large amount of yeast, then I collect all the yeasts and purify away almost all the proteins until I'm left with just their chromatin. I started cultures tonight.

Thanks for all the support. I realize now that I have so much to write about this part of my life. I think my blog will be really therapeutic and will help to keep me motivated through the long days that I need to get through to get that PhD. Stay blessed! (:

A lurker speaks!!!!

Ok, I've been MIA for a minute but I just wanna touch base and say hi. "Hi" I've been lurking and enjoying all of your blogs. I just read Michelle's and it is too funny. I'm in a weird space right now because I'm entering my 7th and final (pray for me) year of my degree program. I never thought I'd be here this long and sometimes feel bad about it. But not for long because I don't have time to be unproductive. So this blog may turn into a "meaning of life" blog. . .or maybe it'll also be about my hair. But as I enter my narcissitic (sp?) phase (final year of school) I'll need to vent. Hope you enjoy (:

My hair has grown soooooo much. Mind you in the 3 week pic I just washed it and in 9 month pic I did a braidout. But its all realtive (; It's doing weird things in the back and in the front it is "kind-of-locking"(?) Anyhoo, its all part of the process. I'm leaving my baby loc stage and am firmly in the teenage stage (atleast in the back). I'm starting to do more braidouts to quell the puffy fuzziness in the back but my hair doesn't wanna play along. Either way, I still love my SL's even when they are rebelling against me.
Until next time, I'll talk to you soon

Chi(:

Introducing. . .Mariyama!

I am very proud to present this young lady as my first featured guest. Mari is a rising junior in high school and she is interested in science! She's participating in a paid summer research program for high school students--It's important to start early, there are programs all over the country that place students in research labs for the summer, let me know if you want more info. This young lady has a beautiful spirit. She always brings a lot of energy to the lab and is a joy to be around. Mari and I connected after she came to lab crying over the fact that her older-set-in-his-ways Driver's Ed instructor informed her that people with locs are dirty and are criminals! What!?!? Well you know I had to set the record straight and stop the viscious cycle of natural hair hateration. That's what I mean when I say black folks need to have a self-love session--But I digress. Mari has beautiful natural hair and is considering locs. I say come on home girl! But it is more important to do what makes you feel comfortable with yourself and beautiful inside and out. No matter what you do to your hair remember that your beauty is within (:
Thanks Mari!

Speak of the Angel. . .

I think all this talk of India Arie must have been fate because I got to see her at the Taste of Chicago this week! Every year, restaurants, musicians and different businesses come out to show their wares at this annual festival. There's also a fireworks show on the 3rd of July. So I got to see Anthony Hamilton and India Arie this week and they were hot! Anthony Hamilton knows he can dance! He even came out into the crowd. Afterwards he was like "I ain't scared of y'all!" Definitely a performer. So after waiting 5.5 hours in the sun--which wasn't too bad, I brought a blanket, read a book, and caught up on my tan (; it was like going to the beach!--Ms. Arie arrived and she didn't disappoint! She gave a FULL concert. Not common for free concerts at the Taste--artists usually do 15-20 minutes and then they are up. She sang songs from her first cd, songs from her most current cd and did a two song encore--and we all sang along. I have to say that India has a beautiful spirit. We can already tell from her music. Her cd is number one this week in sales. In talking about this she skipped around the stage singing "I'm number one y'all. I love it!" like a little kid. She also knows how to really connect with a crowd. At the concert she said that her goal in life is to uplift people with her music. Its so beautiful to see someone do what they love with conviction and to know that they are fulfilling their purpose in life. What a blessing! You go India! I'm buying my cd from Itunes as I write and then I'm going to have a "Private party"--Love that song! Until next time (:

If I am not my hair . . .Then who am I?

I love India.arie for raising awareness about self love. I think people of color just need to have a big ol' self love party and she kicked it off.

Who am if I'm not my hair?

Sensitive to the feelings of others Afraid to be misjudged Always open to making new friends Good at networking to make contacts but not good at following up (I'm workin' on that--I get shy sometimes (; ) A team player Giving Loyal Eager to belong Willing to help out nice Fully devoted to living a full and happy life A dependable friend Sensitive Honest in a "What I tell you may hurt but I'll consider your feelings as much as possible" kind of gal Caring Intelligent A planner Unconditionally loving On the path to self love (my SL's have helped smoothen out the ride) An American-born Nigerian (talk about identity confusion) Sometimes, well ok, oftentimes politically correct In love with science but not sure about giving my life to science Perceptive Overly inquisitive A great communicator and conversationalist--not much else to do but talk while growing up in a suburban town that lacks a city Genuinely concerned A former pleaser Self aware Cheerfully sarcastic in my humor A realistic optimist Constantly growing and changing Ready to graduate but hesitant to grow up

And so on, and so on. . .

When embraced my natural hair in the summer of 1999, I began learning how to love myself. My SL's took it a step further because they helped me discover the woman I am. I feel like I am exploring my womanhood because I'm single without kids, I've never had a professional job, and have extended my adolescence by attending school from Kindergarten to PhD. I've been able to live on my own time, play, explore and be mentally free. Being able to live my life this way has been a tremendous gift and blessing. But If I was bald, I'd still be all of the traits above.

In finding myself and discovering my inner beauty, my hair has been a source of self love, vanity, confidence, dignity and shame. We are who we are and no one should tell us who we are based on our appearance, they have to get to know the person inside. Do people do this? No, we are judged by our appearance. India.arie is just reminding us that looking at my outside appearance to know me is like judging the depth of the sea with your eyes and not your hands--its a serious underestimation.

Just my thoughts. Have a blessed and safe holiday weekend!
Chi(:

I am blessed. . .

I just wanted to share a sentiment that my friend WCJ gave to me and my friends this weekend. I feel very blessed to have my family and friends on and offline! Peace!

Caruso's are grrrrreat!. . . And weddings too.

Hi all,

Thanks for your posts. I bought the curlers after ziggy encouraged me. ok, yes a sistah can get anal--it's the student in me.

but when i used the curlers for the wedding they were great! My updo lasted all day without hairspray and I received so many compliments. I did a trial run for the rehearsal dinner and when it worked out I was sold. Check out the wedding pics. I had a great time, the bride, groom and their families were really nice. The bride is polish and german and the groom is from australia. They met on campus while pursuing their PhD degrees at an international student mixer. Although the U of C can be scholarly (ie you're holed up by yourself studying to death), its still a place to find love. Alternatively, I met James at Borders. This goes to show that the lab is not the ideal place for matchmaking. Anyway, back to the wedding. It was a very diverse and small wedding (about 50 people)
and everyone was so friendly. I was invited to the groom's uncle partner's home in Bali!

Don't think I'll be going but I just wanted to show how friendly folks were.

More to come soon!
Chi(:
Ps. I am loving the NYC trip posts! I didn't get a chance to




comment on everyone's blogs because there were so many! But it was great to see positive folk come together to have a good time. If its and annual trip, count me in for next year!

Caruso Curlers: The good, the bad and the foam?

I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding next saturday. At first I planned on pinning up my hair, but since it just got retightened, its not as flexible as it used to be. Plus, my hair is getting fuzzier and more unkempt? looking. I've lost about half of my fluffiness and I'm kind of in a weird in-between stage. So I started to look into purchasing some Caruso curlers to try to smooth things out. Reading Blaqkofi Leighann, LaChanda and Brunsli's posts about Caruso's was helpful. But after reading a a lot of customer reviews I'm starting to freak out.

I learned several things:

The good: You get great curls without damaging your hair. Hair looks smoother, and makes your ends look pretty. They last one day to several days depending on your hair.

The bad: There's this ticking noise that's annoying but not annoying enough to keep people from using the curlers.

The foam (or should I say the ugly): This unit, the newer one that doesn't use salt, has died on people within months. And, the foam doesn't last! What's up with that?!

I know there are SL sistah's with Caruso curlers out there. After all this reading, and at the risk of being redundant, I still gotta know some thangs. Could ya give a gal a hand?

How long have your rollers or the heating set lasted? Have you had a set die on you?
How do you run out of foam?
How do you heat up the rollers without getting your hair wet and losing your curl?

Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance (:

Happy Memorial Day!!! Summer's here Yay!--that rhymes!(:

Danielle is America's Next Top Model!!!

Hey people,

I don't watch a lot of TV but I do have my favorite shows. And I was so excited to watch the Finale of America's Next Top Model because my favorite girl won! Danielle, the country gal from Little Rock, Arkansas, the one who sprained ankles and became sick and was ridiculed for her gap and her accent won! She overcame all of her obstacles and let her beauty shine through. When they announced her win, my best friend and I were screaming and jumping all over the room. I think I like her so much, because there are so many little black girls who are like her, and want to become a model in a "European-friendly" industry. You could tell she had to face a lot of cultural hurdles when the judges constantly admonished her about her accent-- despite the fact that she tried to suppress it. Although they tried to water down her "Blackness" she stayed true to herself and is a genuine beauty inside and out. Cheers to you Danielle, you go girl!

When I grow up, I wanna be a scientist! (One month and 11 days down)

I wrote the blog below on may 10th and never got around to sending it. But today I was reminded why I went to grad school to learn how to become a scientist.

Today was mind-blowing day. Today I learned to think like a geneticist. With a background in biochemistry, I'm trained to understand topics at a very basic level. However, a biochemist tries to understand either proteins or DNA and then employ techniques that allow them to understand the structure or how to understand the nuts and bolts of how that protein works. A geneticist takes away a one or more genes looks at outcomes (or phenotypes) and uses those outcomes to create a story (or model) of what the removed gene does within a cell. This approach is very direct and helps simplify very complex problems. I love it!

Today I met a potential postdoc mentor. His science was very interesting but after having lunch with him I was reminded that I really love being scientist. My lab hands are not perfect or "magic". But when things actually work I get this high that's unbelievable. Science is truly a drug you choose. What else would make me stubbornly pursue difficult topics and techniques and allow me to believe that I could just learn them and keep going. The hours are long because you have to motivate yourself. You spend days, week, months, years even working at something. Along the way, some things work and some don't. I think it took me a few years to learn how to let a project go because my heart was so invested in it I just had to make it work! In graduate school there's always some obstacle you have to work through. If its not your project, its the psychological aspect of learning how to live with and more importantly, learn from failure.

Anyway, I met this guy and he was so passionate about his science he just made me excited about science again. I get excited when things work and then that high lasts for a few days and then something else grabs your attention and your back in the trenches again, banging your head against the wall. But meeting successful scientists excite me because they remind me of who I want to be in my future career. In a perfect world I would like to be a scientist in academia and run my own lab. But the real world, the tenure clock runs right along with your biological clock and successful grant writing makes your world go round. Not to mention the fact that there are typically 200+ applicants per faculty position. There's just not that many jobs to go around.

For me, I'm gonna focus on learning as much as I can and just enjoy what I do. Don't get me wrong, my job search (post doc and faculty/senior scientist) will include both sides (academia and industry) because self preservation is the order of the day. But today, I said aloud "I would like to be in academia" to my boss, and I really meant it. I'm willing to put up with the politics and the stressful grant funding cycles, and the stress of teaching and the not living where I want (although I think I'll have to cross this bridge when it comes) to reach out, mentor, and make a difference. I want my science to make an impact on the lives of others. I don't want to study a random protein because its interesting, I want my science to apply to disease and the development of therapeautics. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, I just know that I am. And today I got that free feeling you get when you're doing what you love and you understand where you're going. It doesn't come often so I'm gonna ride it for as long as I can.

Cheers!
Chi(:

The Africa Channel

Hey y'all
Have you heard of the Africa channel? My consultant sent me a link to its website but this is an actual cable channel that talks about events going on in African countries. I wish I had this while growing up. Unless you visit, the only media access we have to African countries is when there's something negative going on (war, famine, scandals, etc.. . ) They don't offer it in Chicago and I doubt it is widely offered but if enough people call their cable stations, it may be more readily available. Check out the site and tell me what you think.

Chi(:

Quick Hello

Hey people,

Just wanted to send out a quick hello to all my friends in blog land. It's been a while but I've been keeping up wit'ya! Here I am at 5 months locked with Janet Hubert of the "Fresh Prince of Belair" I meet her at the Biotechnology conference this past April. She is such an inspiration and truly has a beautiful spirit. If you ask me, there was only one "Vivian" on that show. The conference was a blast! President Clinton and Magic Johnson spoke at our luncheons and I learned how academia, industry and non-profit organizations fit together but are yet so far apart. . . but that's for another post. The conference hosted receptions every night. On the first night we went to Navy pier and several Drag queens showed us the way to the show--so you know I had to take a picture. I also had a conversation with a robot from Nebraska--yes a real conversation! That was last month. But I just realized that May 4th is my six month lock-aversary! Here's my most current photo, just hanging out in the lab, playing around with the lab camera. My hair is sort of locked in the back (almost teenage looking) but hardly in the front. Diana said that it would take a year, but I'm not in a hurry. I really love my hair at every stage during these past six months (except after retightenings--ouch!) I love to just shake my hair out and go everyday. Getting SL's is the best self investment that I made for myself in years. Until next time, Cheers!

More Braidout fun

Well, almost two weeks have past since my experiment and I must say it's been fun. The braidout definitely helped me hide my unraveled edges. I want to prevent my edges from unraveling. Other than waiting longer before I wash, what else can I do to prevent them from falling? Any advice is welcomed. What I really loved was the texture! I loved the extra length as well. I was able to see how long my locs were with this style. When I do it again, I'm definitely going to keep the rollers in longer. This is a pic on the morning after. I received so many compliments from my friends and family. They really felt like the style fit my face--isn't it nice to finally find a unique style that fits your own personal beauty?! Unfortunately, my little bounce was gone after I slept on my hair. I could regain it after putting the rollers in in the morning but somehow my hair kind of fell by the end of the day. I also pulled my hair back into a bun and rocked some bangs for a few days. That was fun because the crinkles gave my hair extra texture so it looked like a style instead of a hair faux pas that I tried to cover up. James liked the little bun style (go J!) and of course I had to eat up all that positive attention. When I got tired of curling my hair, I misted it, gave myself some bangs and Bam! another hair style. Normally I just mist and freestyle but with the braidout, my misty freestyle had added volume! I felt all jazzy! Man I love SisterlocksTM! This braidout technique is too addictive! I can see why Blaqkofi likes it. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to see how long my crinkles would last because I had to wash my hair for my 2nd retightening on March 3rd. I really love the texture of my hair before and after the retightening. That after pic reminds me of the 'fro that I used to rock a few years ago. I thought that I would be able to do the braidout again afterwards but my head hurt so bad, it was hard for me to sleep on it let alone braid it. It's funny, I have tender spots on my head but in other places it didn't feel painful where Diana retightened. But if I put my hand on my head to move the locs, my head hurt. It think my hair strands aren't used to being bound in a different position and are unable to lay in their original position. Does that make sense? Anyway, it's been about 4 days and my hair has loosened so I'll try it again this weekend.

Fun with the braidout!

Hey all,
It's been a long hard week and today I had to make chromatin which is physically taxing. So after work, I treated my self to a lavender/epsom salt/almond oil bath (See below). I put on a soothing iTunes playlist, lit a candle and laid back to enjoy my impromptu spa date. I like to play it low key on Fridays since the week can kind of catch up to me then. After my bath I decided to catch up with my SisterlockTM sistahs. After reading blackluvdmom's blog I was inspired to do a braidout--my first one (see what y'all make me do! (: ). Usually I freestyle, out of laziness, so a braidout was well overdue. Next week I'm going for my second retightening and some of my edges have unraveled. I'm hoping the braidout would help me cover them up for the week. Unfortunately, I ran out of SisterlockTM shampoo last week so I gave myself an ACV rinse while I took my bath. I love ACV because it clears buildup and make my hair feel squeaky clean without shampoo. I started to braid my hair when it was almost dry so I just redampened it with some lavender water (1 drop to a misting bottle). I took about 30-45 minutes to braid up my hair and I was delighted to see the length. Sometimes its hard to tell when you're free-stylin' but I'm proud of my little length (: I decided to let them dry overnight and after having so much fun braiding I decided to have some fun. At first my pictures were kind of timid but then I decided, what the hey, let's go crazy. I tried the little girl with pig-tails look. Then, I wanted to go Vanessa Huxtable. After all the fun, I rolled up my braids with my rollers but I won't leave them in overnight. I don't want my hair to shrink too much. I'll sleep with a satin cap (that will probably fall off) to keep the curls. In the end, it was fun to pamper me for the evening and playing with my hair. Tune in tomorrow, I can't wait to see how they look!

Lavender/Almond Oil/Epsom Salt Bath
-A nice clean bathtub full of warm water (as warm as you can stand)
-3-4 drops of Lavender essential oil--Aromatherapy--it is calming
-2-3 capfuls of Almond Oil--good for the skin because it has Vitamin E
-Epsom Salt (MgSO4)-not sure how much I added, maybe 1 cup; relaxes your muscles.

Directions: Lay in the tub, meditate, enjoy the ambience, music and relaaaxxxxxx. . .

Post Birthday Celebration wrap up

Hi all,

Here is a blow by blow account of my birthday weekend. After all the celebrating, I just have to say that I am very blessed to have loving friends, family and a joy for life. This was my best b-day weekend ever, and I hope it only gets better.

I started my birthday weekend friday on my actual birthday with the R-gap pre-Valentines Day party. There was poetry, there was a raffle and I played a game where I had to "pick up" a guy (James) with my best line.Let me tell you, guys have it hard, I was never so nervous. Let's just say that I'll never do that again. Later, James and I went to Starbucks and enjoyed each others' company over cider.

On saturday, it was time to get my Karaoke on! I had a party at Trader Todd's Karaoke bar, home of the Best karaoke in Chicago. I had so much fun laughing and being laughed at. But most of all I was blessed to be surrounded by the love of my friends and family. My song selections were, "Dancin' on the Ceiling" by Lionel Ritchie--a true party starter, "Back to Life" by Soul II Soul--that was a vocal challenge, and "All I Do" by our favorite, Stevie Wonder. I had to sing that one to James, he serenaded me with "My Cherie Amour" by Stevie Wonder--and he was so sweet.

Then on Sunday I got my birthday surprise, James treated me to brunch at the Bongo room. Let me just tell you, I had pumpkin carrot cheesecake pancake, crusted with with graham crackers and honey roasted peanut/toffee butter on the side. Next, we went to the Chocolatefest at the Garfield Park conservatory. Let me tell you, its a blessing to have a birthday near Valentine's Day. Although we waited 30 minutes in cold to get inside, it was worth it. I saw a cacao plant and learned how to make chocolate from cacao beans, and I potted a chocalate mint plant. But most of all James and I had fun together and that made the experience all the better. As you can see, he keeps me laughing.

Well all, I hope you enjoy your Valentine's Day. My only Sisterlock comment for this entry is, "I was loving my hair and it just added to the fun!" I don't know how I'm going to top this birthday weekend but if I'm blessed with another year, you know I'm gonna try. Stay blessed!

Happy Birthday to me! (Pre-party entry)

Today is my birthday! Hooray!!! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who still gets excited about their birthday. I've been talking about it for two weeks because I'm having a Karaoke celebration tomorrow. It's a blessing to be alive another year and I love to celebrate that blessing. Here I am at 28 and now 29 (on the right). Look at the difference! (not so much although I look much happier at 29). I think turning 30 will be the same, no difference. Lookin' forward to that. That's all for now, Peace!

As I emerge from MIA status. . .

Hey ladies,

Haven't been around in a while, I wanted to have a lot to blog about, and then I got a little busy. . .But while I'm workin' late in the lab I figured now would be a great time to make a comeback.

In mid-January I got my first retightening. My roots were tight and so was my head! Ouch! For the first time I felt like a plucked chicken! So I tried pulling my hair back with a bobbie pin and a cowrie (sp?) shell on the end.

I've also been MIA because I met a boy (sigh, grin, blush. . . ). No he isn't white--yes I know, I hate to disprove the theory. But he's. . . .(sigh) Grrrreat! On our first date (in my sixth week), he said, "I love your hair like that. . . " Yes friends, we have another AA brother on our side! Yay! I've seen him for about four weeks and so far so good. I'm not gonna worry too much (although I worry and overanalyze over everything!) I'm just gonna enjoy our time together and see what happens. . . for some reason I just feel at peace with him. There's no drama to worry about and no "I like you more than you like me" or vice versa. Ok, yes I'm gushing, and the sarcasm in me just is dying to come out--but ya know what, it feels good to feel good in the space of someone else. I'm really enjoying it. If we keep goin' on this well, I'll have a pic for you next time. Peace!

Just an ordinary day. . .

Whenever, I go through everyone's blogs I'm so glad to be able to interact with some really cool sistahs. Although our hair has brought us together, its the beautiful personalities and williness to show love that makes me stay. Thanks y'all (:

I think I'm in my sixth week now. The front of my hair is starting to act right. Isn't it a wonder what our hair will do when we work with it and not against it? I guess that's the choleric in me, I want the best and I feel like my SL's are the best for me!

Peace!

Hey I'm purple! I mean that's my inner hair color...

Your Hair Should Be Purple

Intense, thoughtful, and unconventional. You're always philosophizing and inspiring others with your insights.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

I love these tests they're so fun.

You know, its funny how God works. Here I am, lamenting over my hazy future in academia and I learn about a mentorship program that is geared towards pairing minorities (at any stage of their career) with someone in industry. For anyone who has yet to try to break into a pharmaceutical company, let me tell you, you betta know somebody cuz it's not easy. So I found about this program by reading the Science Careers Forum that's moderated by the American Association for the Advancement of Science AAAS. Its 11PM on Wednesday, January 4th and the deadline (postmark thank goodness) is Friday January 6th! So what do I do? I take the plunge. I managed to finangle recommendation letters from my dean and my advisor (with one day's notice! ouch!) without raising a lot of ire. And then I put my experiments aside and get to work on my personal statement. As I wrote my statement today, I got my usual writer's block (of course) but then I started to verbalize innermost desires. I thought, "What the hey, what's the worst that could happen?" So I started to describe how I wanted to pursue research in Immunotherapy and develop a cell-based therapeutic with stem cells. As soon as I wrote these words, my excitement for science began to return. If you took away all the drama of academia (the grantwriting, the politics, etc. . .), all the things that make me want to avoid it, I would still choose to perform research in this area. Industry may be the way to have what I want without the drama of academia (although I'm sure industry has its own ills). Writing this statement helped me to really focus on what I want. I know that I want to do this because I can feel the passion in my bones. Wish me luck y'all I have a good feeling about this.

Thanks for the Temperment Test Jen, that was fun.

So I jumped on the bandwagon. I'm 100% choleric. But I'm not surprised. This comment: "Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.", describes me to a T. I'm finishing my degree program this year (Pray for me y'all), and I want the best, I'm just not sure running a lab in academia is my passion anymore.

They (actually I don't know who "they" is) say that you only live once and I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to be passionate about my career and enjoy the challenges that it brings. Basic science research gives me this challenge but instead of enjoying it, I feel a war-torn and battle-weary. I do know that when I mentor undergrads or even explain my work to elementary school children, I get a buzz of excitement when I see their eyes light up with interest. I know that I need to work more with the community. So I'm thinking Science Policy with a focus on diplomacy. But there's still part of me that loves science and the possiblity of conducting research that will one day lead to a cure for cancer or HIV. So here I am, back on the fence. Only time and networking will tell.

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

Now, could this happy-go-lucky gal celebrating the new year be all of these bad things (said in a passive-aggresive, guilt inspiring tone made to make you feel sorry for her)? Don't know if I could be proud of my faults--seems kind of pompous to me. And I am a bit more flexible, but they did say "at your worst" and I usually try to present and feel my best (see the first paragraph). I can see the narcissist trait with my SL's. I just can't help lookin' at them! But maybe I'm just giving myself some much needed self love--there's nothing wrong with that(;

Peace!