Today was mind-blowing day. Today I learned to think like a geneticist. With a background in biochemistry, I'm trained to understand topics at a very basic level. However, a biochemist tries to understand either proteins or DNA and then employ techniques that allow them to understand the structure or how to understand the nuts and bolts of how that protein works. A geneticist takes away a one or more genes looks at outcomes (or phenotypes) and uses those outcomes to create a story (or model) of what the removed gene does within a cell. This approach is very direct and helps simplify very complex problems. I love it!
Today I met a potential postdoc mentor. His science was very interesting but after having lunch with him I was reminded that I really love being scientist. My lab hands are not perfect or "magic". But when things actually work I get this high that's unbelievable. Science is truly a drug you choose. What else would make me stubbornly pursue difficult topics and techniques and allow me to believe that I could just learn them and keep going. The hours are long because you have to motivate yourself. You spend days, week, months, years even working at something. Along the way, some things work and some don't. I think it took me a few years to learn how to let a project go because my heart was so invested in it I just had to make it work! In graduate school there's always some obstacle you have to work through. If its not your project, its the psychological aspect of learning how to live with and more importantly, learn from failure.
Anyway, I met this guy and he was so passionate about his science he just made me excited about science again. I get excited when things work and then that high lasts for a few days and then something else grabs your attention and your back in the trenches again, banging your head against the wall. But meeting successful scientists excite me because they remind me of who I want to be in my future career. In a perfect world I would like to be a scientist in academia and run my own lab. But the real world, the tenure clock runs right along with your biological clock and successful grant writing makes your world go round. Not to mention the fact that there are typically 200+ applicants per faculty position. There's just not that many jobs to go around.
For me, I'm gonna focus on learning as much as I can and just enjoy what I do. Don't get me wrong, my job search (post doc and faculty/senior scientist) will include both sides (academia and industry) because self preservation is the order of the day. But today, I said aloud "I would like to be in academia" to my boss, and I really meant it. I'm willing to put up with the politics and the stressful grant funding cycles, and the stress of teaching and the not living where I want (although I think I'll have to cross this bridge when it comes) to reach out, mentor, and make a difference. I want my science to make an impact on the lives of others. I don't want to study a random protein because its interesting, I want my science to apply to disease and the development of therapeautics. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, I just know that I am. And today I got that free feeling you get when you're doing what you love and you understand where you're going. It doesn't come often so I'm gonna ride it for as long as I can.
Cheers!
Chi(:
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