Tuesday, October 24, 2006

When I grow up, I wanna be a scientist! (One month and 11 days down)

I wrote the blog below on may 10th and never got around to sending it. But today I was reminded why I went to grad school to learn how to become a scientist.

Today was mind-blowing day. Today I learned to think like a geneticist. With a background in biochemistry, I'm trained to understand topics at a very basic level. However, a biochemist tries to understand either proteins or DNA and then employ techniques that allow them to understand the structure or how to understand the nuts and bolts of how that protein works. A geneticist takes away a one or more genes looks at outcomes (or phenotypes) and uses those outcomes to create a story (or model) of what the removed gene does within a cell. This approach is very direct and helps simplify very complex problems. I love it!


Today I met a potential postdoc mentor. His science was very interesting but after having lunch with him I was reminded that I really love being scientist. My lab hands are not perfect or "magic". But when things actually work I get this high that's unbelievable. Science is truly a drug you choose. What else would make me stubbornly pursue difficult topics and techniques and allow me to believe that I could just learn them and keep going. The hours are long because you have to motivate yourself. You spend days, week, months, years even working at something. Along the way, some things work and some don't. I think it took me a few years to learn how to let a project go because my heart was so invested in it I just had to make it work! In graduate school there's always some obstacle you have to work through. If its not your project, its the psychological aspect of learning how to live with and more importantly, learn from failure.

Anyway, I met this guy and he was so passionate about his science he just made me excited about science again. I get excited when things work and then that high lasts for a few days and then something else grabs your attention and your back in the trenches again, banging your head against the wall. But meeting successful scientists excite me because they remind me of who I want to be in my future career. In a perfect world I would like to be a scientist in academia and run my own lab. But the real world, the tenure clock runs right along with your biological clock and successful grant writing makes your world go round. Not to mention the fact that there are typically 200+ applicants per faculty position. There's just not that many jobs to go around.

For me, I'm gonna focus on learning as much as I can and just enjoy what I do. Don't get me wrong, my job search (post doc and faculty/senior scientist) will include both sides (academia and industry) because self preservation is the order of the day. But today, I said aloud "I would like to be in academia" to my boss, and I really meant it. I'm willing to put up with the politics and the stressful grant funding cycles, and the stress of teaching and the not living where I want (although I think I'll have to cross this bridge when it comes) to reach out, mentor, and make a difference. I want my science to make an impact on the lives of others. I don't want to study a random protein because its interesting, I want my science to apply to disease and the development of therapeautics. I don't know how I'm gonna do it, I just know that I am. And today I got that free feeling you get when you're doing what you love and you understand where you're going. It doesn't come often so I'm gonna ride it for as long as I can.

Cheers!
Chi(:

7 comments:

brunsli said...

What a great post, soon to be Dr. Chi-Chi! Your enthusiasm comes through.

Goodnapps said...

That is a beautiful feeling. Ride it until the cows come home!

Anonymous said...

It's fabulous that you've found something you're passionate about. It takes some people years!

You go girl!

Natural Kinks said...

Good for you Chi, Keep hope faith and determination alive!

You and your locks look great, I love the curlies at the ends!!

Maryee said...

You are wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chi-chi said...

Thanks for the love y'all! (:

brunsli said...

ChiChi, A friend of mine who's a scientist (without a blogger account asked me to forward this to you). -B

Brunsli,
I read Chichi's discussions on her future. I wanted to react, but needed to establish some Google Blogadres, which I don't like (sorry for my peculiarities). Since it will only be a one time thing, could you maybeforward this to her?

Dear Chichi,

I am a friend of Brunsli and a scientist. From her blog I wandered to yours, and read your planning of your scientific future. The most important thing for becoming a scientist is that you have to become one, that it is you. Otherwise it is often too boring, too stressful, and underpaid. I have seen many people quitting, for one reason or the other. I don't know you and
don't know if you can make it, but if you can keep up the energy you have now (keep that smile), it probably is possible. Just would like to make one warning (reason of this letter): Don't focus on applicability. That will only frustrate you. Good science always leads to medical applications, and
bad science always leads to nothing. So just choose a topic which you like, in which you can excel (get some specialism), and in which you will have an excellent mentor.

A microbiologist (field of thousands)